An author friend of mine posted a positive review of the Kindle book Writing Active Hooks by: Mary Buckham. I’ve heard hooks referred to as lazy writing, and a literary device. As a novice writer I know there’s plenty for me to learn, and other reviewers touted the assignments in the book as great. I’ve taken some Master Level Marketing courses, and I learned a great deal about retail marketing while working as a store executive for Target. I enjoyed learning about the psychology behind where things are placed and why it grabs interest. My interest with this book was peeked, and I bought it. It’s a quick read, and there’s useful information. Buckham illustrates each of the “classic hook’s” by highlighting writers works in the same way Browne  & King teach with samples in their book Self-Editing For Fiction Writers. None of Beckman’s samples demonstrated hooks I would dub as lazy or read like a literary devices.  A few samples show the progressive improvement of the first line through several drafts. These were very compelling examples and it certainly taught me what each hook is comprised of. It is Buckham’s assertion that the first line in every book should contain at least one hook, and depending on the genre three to four. She has several reasons why, but the reason that grabbed me was a novice author’s increased chance of their manuscript immediatly standing out against the others floating accross agent and publisher desks.  Is this a fear tactic or solid advice? I think it’s something that can’t hurt, and is worth consideration. One of Buckman’s assignments is to go to the bookstore or library, seek out new works in the genre you write, and read the first line of eight books.  If there was a Prologue we are to consider this as the start of the story. Buckham also wanted the books examined to be written by new authors, or a new publication. Her rational being how the market changes, and what sold books several years ago does not necessarily sell them now. Reading this assignment made me grin and sigh.  I’m no expert, but I’m familiar with the fantasy genre. It’s the genre I prefer to read and it is what I write in. I knew before setting foot in the bookstore or skimming the first page of books in my collection that the probability of finding hooks in the first sentence of any fantasy was slim to none. Eager to see if I was wrong I went out and did the assignment. I was still not holding my breath, as I approached the Fantasy/Science Fiction new release aisle.  The entire end cap by it was filled with leather bound copies of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and no-neither one of these have hooks in the first sentence. I know I’m being very general, but here’s a list of what I did expect to find.  According to my experience as a Fantasy consumer, the first scene in an epic fantasy usually opens with one of these things:

• A recitation of who the protagonist is and/or thier heritage.
• The protagonist observing nature and/or the environment.
• The protagonist fighting or in a battle of some kind.

Was I right? Yes. My four year old daughter was with me, and while I sent her on a mission to find book covers with dragons, I compiled my list. I’m grading the number of hooks used based on what I learned from Buckham’s book.  I’m not going to ruin Writing Active Hook’s by explaining the five hooks to you. In all honesty, with what I found, I don’t think I even need to.  The sentences without hooks are not compelling. These writers haven’t failed in their craft. It’s simply a fact they chose not to use a psychological hook at the opening of their book. The following had no hooks within the first sentence:

• “My name is Uhthred.”-The Empty Throne by: Bernard Cornwell
• “Flashes of lightning seared the turbid night sky, illuminating the drawn faces of the men hearing the long wooden oars of the Viking Longship as it fought against the roarings of the unforgiving sea.”- The Eye of Heaven by: Clive Cussler
• “Shiva gazed at the orange sky.”- The Imortals of Meluha by Amish Tripathi
• “They stood together on the cliffs surrounds the Ultan and stared accross the rain forest.”- Elves: Rise of the TaiGether by: James Barclay
• “Thomas Cole suffers no hysterical delusions of uncontrolled behavior beyond that of his sour nature.”-The Beating of His Wings by: Paul Hoffman
• “Lightning split the night sky above the mast of the Bantu Rey.”- Blood and Iron by Jon Sprunk

The following had hooks within the first sentence:

• “Lady Isabel Amaral plucked another pair of drawers from the chiffonier and tossed them in her companions direction.”-The Golden City by J.Kathleen Cheney
• “Harkin cracked his whip with an urgency wrought of terror.”- The Highwayman by: R.A. Salvature

Just for fun I went to my collection at home and grabbed eight fantasy books. I took note of the first sentences, and found none of these contained a hook.

• “Rukbat, in the Sagittarius Sector, was a golden G-type star.” Moretea: Dragonlady of Pern by: Anne McCaffrey
• “Grand Duke Tremane shivered as a cold draft wisped past the shutters behind him and drifted down the back of his neck.”-Storm Rising by: Mercedes Lackey
• “This night have dispatched to you four birds, bearing in two parts our agreement with the dragon Tintaglia, to be ratified by the Rain Wild Council.”- Dragon Keeper by: Robin Hobb
• “Both moons were high, dimming the light of all but the brightest stars.”-Tigana by: Guy Gavriel Kay
• “A cold wind blew down from the snow-covered mountains, hissing through the narrow streets of Thebe Under Plakos.”-Troy: Shield of Thunder by David Gemmell
• “Smells of earth and dung drifted slowly past the fog in Errol’s brain.”-A Cast of Stones by: Patrick W. Carr
• “Kalam rounded a rocky stone ridge and stumbled to a stop before the body of a dying thunderclast.”-The Way of Kings buy: Brandon Sanderson
• “He had many names.” Blood Song by: Anthony Ryan
• “We should start back,” Gared urged as the woods began to grow dark around them.-Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

The lack of hooks in this short sampling of data I find fascinating as both a writer and a reader.  While validating my assumption felt good, it had me wondering why. As a fan of fantasy, why am I tolerant of writing that typically does not hook a reader until anywhere between the five and thirty page mark? Is there something more pressing then pulling a reader into the story and engaging them right away? When I first started reading Fantasy what drove me to pick up a book was the following, and listed in order of importance as: The cover art, my devotion as a fan to tried and true authors, and the blurb on the back. There was only one book in a fifteen year stretch of reading Fantasy where I did not finish a book. That was The Deeds of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon.  I read one hundred or so pages and I was never attached to either the protagonist or the plot. Did her hook’s not resonate with me, or was I just bored to tears? I’m not sure and I never made it past 200 pages.  Moon’s book illustrates my point best in that I was conditioned for long exposition narratives. I was patient and willing to let Moon talk about mud and this female soldier from a farm. I wanted to see her move on to becoming a great warrior but her journey was boring, and Moon had surpassed our trade off. In my opinion a trade off exisits in the fantasy genre between the reader and the author. If the reader is willing to read one chapter, or say a prologue and one chapter, the Fantasy author will provide a hook, or the big “So What?” Why must the Fantasy reader be so accommodating? Because Fantasy, and I would say Science Fiction as well, takes you someplace you have never been before.  You can’t just drop into the protagonist and automatically understand the daily operations of a Dragon hold, a wizard school, or kingdom full of blue people that eat sand.  Most of the time, in order for the Fantasy story to make sense-for the hook to make sense, the reader needs to be exposed to the fantastical place and learn some important things. Bring the reader up to speed on things not typical in other genre’s. Like a whole new culture or race of people; a magic system; where dragons live; or what army is out to destroy the world. I don’t think a hook is needed in the first line of a fantasy novel, however I’m not necessarily against finding them. Especially if they are as well crafted as the samples in Beckman’s book.   At some point in every novel hook psychology is present.  We are given the big “So What?” and “This is why you should read more.” It would be no surprise to find an increase of Fantasy authors using hooks in the first sentence of their work. What would be more surprising is if their target audience ever takes notice. It’s my opinion the average Fantasy reader will forgive a new work if a hook is missing from the first line. However in a saturated Fantasy market, for the unpublished and unknown writer, it’s a risk we might want to avoid.

Book Review: The Kindling (Age of Faith #4) by: Tamara Leigh

I give this book four out of five stars for being an entertaining book, a journey of physical and emotional recovery, with a fun cast of characters.

What I liked:
1) The characters, both Helene and Abel were complex and interesting people. I like how Abel’s family interact with him, doing things because they know he will or will not tolerate it.
2) The romance between Helene and Abel was initially a love at first sight kind of thing, but their attachment truly grew as they got to know one another in this book. I also like how Abel and Helene consciously made decisions to benefit the other that were not always to their personal betterment.
3) Helene’s bold honesty. I just loved how unusual a character trait this was, but it worked so well for her. It was great to see her articulate difficult things most people would cave and never be brave enough to say openly.

What I didn’t like:
1) Helene holding onto the secret of her parentage as long as she did. I thought it should have at least been revealed to her brother. I do not understand why Helene did not confess it to him in the last book, if for no other reason than to at least benefit her son.
2) The ending could have been stronger. It was a little anti climatic after the rescue. I like the conversation with Lady Isobel, and Abel playing with John, but there could have been more discussion between Abel and Helene. So much time is spent with them miserable a part, or together in strife, I was looking forward to seeing them happy together.

Book Review: The House Girl by: Tara Conklin

The House Girl
I give this book four out of five stars for the depths of emotion provoked, the discussion of race, and the exploration into family bonds. The work is thought provoking and a long journey into the lives of two women in two points of time.
What I liked:
1) The discussion of race, slavery, and reparations was poignant, well thought out, and shove against the surface level banter revolving around these issues.
2) The relationship tensions. I think Lena and her father Osacar’s interactions conveyed this the best. Their communication always skirted some topics while others were pursued head on. They provide a relatable portrayal of times when simple conversation never really is simple.
3) There is an overarching question of the meaning of life. Many characters are in pursuit of finding themselves or seeking something greater. Discussions of God’s role; is sense of self something imposed on us by others or is it of our own design; and the meaning of freedom.

What I didn’t like:
1) The narrative voice (please note-I’m not talking about the actual narrator here, I’m discussing the technical construction of the work) never seemed to change or vary. This was most obvious when the narrative was coming from a historical document where letters were filled with gazes, detailed looks, and eloquent prose that are easily recognized as the narrators. Not every character needed to speak in such detail, and because they did the definition of the characters is blurred.
2) The extraneous details. Details and long prose were everywhere and at every moment in the book. I found myself longing for moments of simple narrative. At times I wanted to tell the narrator to skip down the page and pick back up where there was action. The historical letters became very long winded and I groaned whenever another one started because not a single one was short and to the point. The feel of Lena’s office space would remain intact if half the details were stripped.

I listened to the audio version of this book. I thought the female narrator, Bahni Turpin was especially gifted in her inflections for certain characters and her smooth shift into a male’s tone of voice.

The Redeeming (Age of Faith #3) by: Tamara Leigh

I give this book three out of five stars for being an enjoyable read with some colorful combat scenes. It’s a love at first sight kind of romance with some interesting action to build on future books.
What I liked:
1) The male protagonist Christian Lavonne. I really liked his introduction in the last book and I looked forward to a book featuring him.
2) The climax to the conflict between Christian and his ill father. Their conflict was introduced in the last book, and it was a believable ending to the strife between them.
3) The twist in how the final battle at Soaring played out. It was very exciting with a lot at stake for many of the characters.

What I didn’t like:
1) The romance between Christian and Gaenor. I didn’t see what/how/why Christian fell in love with Gaenor. I was hoping it would be more than just a lust/love at first sight kind of thing. Unfortunately I don’t see how else to explain their attachment. There wasn’t much else that passed between them to create a burning romance.
2) I wasn’t very attached to the heroine Gaenor. She repeats mistakes, falls for people she barely knows, doesn’t speak her mind, and overall didn’t grow or progress much as a character.
3) I was hoping to see more of how Christian’s time and training as a Monk would shape his current life. It didn’t seem to have much if any impact. I found it a little odd how quickly Christian was able to shift into his duties as Baron. I’m not sure lack of combat training would be his greatest struggle.

Dead Until Dark (Sookie Stackhouse #1) by: Charlaine Harris

Narrated by: Johanna Parker

I gave this book three out of five stars for its entertainment and the unique characters. As a fan of the HBO television series True Blood, I looked forward to reading the book it was based on and have waited to read them so I would not taint either television or book experience. It was fun to find elements in the book that never made it to the show and discover characters added or altered in the series that were not organic to Harris’s work.

What I liked:

1) The environment. All the little bits of the southern setting enriched the story.  The descriptions of humid heat, pine pollen, the type and conditions of buildings, and the sounds of crickets and frogs were great.

2) The Fantasy. Sookie considers her telepathic ability a “disability”. The Vampire mythology was pretty much the usual but had a unique twist of how Vampires had “come out” and were mainstreaming into society. They drank synthetic blood and the media claimed vampires were victims of a horrible virus that caused allergies to garlic and silver. When Sookie discovers her boss is a shifter she has an epiphany and figures there must be all kinds of myths that were real.

3) The mystery. Having watched the show, I knew who the killer was, but I still enjoyed the suspense of how the killer was revealed.

What I didn’t like:

1) The way in which this book is written. It’s poor technical construction was painful, absolutely painful. I was glad I was listening to this book instead of seeing its poor construction on paper. Harris’s number one crime is her use of adverbs. Harris loves adverbs so much she made one up: “shame-facedly”. I’m still in shock by how this work went to publication with that in its pages. For fun I kept a running list of every adverb used in only the final two chapters of the book:

Alertly

Instantly x 2

Expectantly

Thoughtfully

Thoroughly

Reluctantly

Reproachfully

Drowsily

Finally x 4

Abruptly

Comfortingly

Hopefully x 2

Enthusiastically

Quizzically

Heavily x 4

Cautiously

Doubtfully x 2

Curiously

Firmly x 2

Practically

Sadly x 2

Dreadfully

Slightly

Softly x 2

Shame-facedly

Graciously

Helplessly

Eagerly

Intently

Sloppily

Unexpectedly

Abruptly

Loudly

Sympathetically

Questioningly

Earnestly

Cheerfully

Ghastly

Dutifully

Wryly

Obediently

Obligingly

Vehemently

Carelessly

Hesitantly

Involuntarily

Carefully x 5

2) The connection between Sookie and Bill was lust, there’s very little romance. I can’t tell you what Bill loves about Sookie, besides feeding or having sex with her, he never reveals his attachment. While they shared personal information with one another, Bill’s character was very flat. He tells her how naive she is and later laughs while he tells her how she knows nothing about the world. What a charmer. Sookie’s biggest enchantment with Bill: she can’t read his mind. So yeah, not much love connection there.  The only sex scene that didn’t make me yawn, was the one in the cemetery when she found Bill alive.

3) Clothing and life details. Harris likes to tell you head to toe what every characters wearing. This is useful and fun when some of the eccentric choices of clothing for vampires were described. It seems pointless and strange when Sookie’s bar uniform or lame taste in every other article of her attire is described. I wanted to check the year this book was written when Sookie put a banana clip in her hair. I also did not understand why details about brushing teeth, shaving legs, and use of facial moisturizer were shared on more than one occasion.